The Beauty of Beyoncé

Musically-speaking, I cannot get enough of Beyoncé Knowles. She has such an amazing voice, but from what I've seen, her voice cannot rival her beautiful, amazing heart. As a non-music critic, but a fan of all kinds of music, I feel it safe to say that if our Ms. Knowles is not a musical superstar, she is certainly on the cusp of being so.

I mention this because I am sure that anyone who follows music at all knows what happened at the MTV Video Music Awards (VMAs) recently. 19-year-old Taylor Swift beat out 28-year-old Beyoncé for Best Female Video for Taylor's video for her song You Belong With Me. Beyoncé's video for her song,Single Lady (Put A Ring On It), is as awesome as you would expect one her videos to be, but--alas--she lost fairly & squarely to Taylor Swift, and, as they say, to the winner goes the spoils...except that Taylor's spoils were spoiled by Kanye West, who took it upon himself to walk up on stage & take the microphone from the winner of the award & proceeded to talk about how wonderful Beyoncé's video is. In one aspect, I agree with Kanye: Beyoncé is a huge talent, but the rest of it was embarrassing, not just for Taylor, but for Kanye, who acted like a child--or, worse yet--like those screamers at this summer's town hall meetings about Health Care.

Kanye West had nothing at all to do with this award (it's certainly not like he was nominated for anything in this category), but he felt that his thoughts on the subject were more important than what the actual winner of the award had to say.

I may be oversimplifying things, but that's how I see what happened.

The story had a happy ending though when Beyoncé invariably won an award & recalled how wonderful it was when she had won her first VMA, and asked Taylor Swift to come out & speak so she could REALLY enjoy her moment in the spotlight. Beyoncé gave up her own time, so this new young artist could fully experience the thrill of earning such a prestigious award.

In that one act of kindness, Beyoncé proved that not only does she have a beautiful voice, but a beautiful heart, too! As far as I'm concerned, that makes her not only a winner in music & video, but, far more importantly, a winner in life.

On Faith

When I look back on my faith walk thus far, I can remember so much that very nearly destroyed me. I remember feeling so alone sometimes, and so worthless. My experience in Christianity has not been easy & I've had so many reasons & so many chances to just give up & get out, but--somehow--I couldn't.

I still struggle every day to "keep the faith" when there are still so many out there who are so sure that I am not "one of them" & that I cannot share their God with them unless I change everything about myself that they don't like.

I have thought through all these years about how much easier it probably would have been had God made me heterosexual, or had I left their little club once it became evident that there was no place for me in Christianity, or had I never even known about God in the first place. Like any of us humans, I would have preferred a much easier life (faith-wise) than the one I have actually lived, but (as the old saying goes) you have to play the cards that life deals you.

I'm sure that I could have "played my hand" better than I did, but I now know that everything happens for a reason, even if we don't know that reason is right now. In the midst of the hurricane, it's hard to think about the light of the sunny day that always comes afterward.

So, while it would be tempting to wish I could wipe away all those memories & all those tears, and while I have not always felt this way, I can now honestly tell you that--as heavy as my burden has been, and as lonely as I have felt in my life--I wouldn't change a thing. Not one. It was part of God's plan for my life, and I can even say now that I am even thankful for how things have turned out in my faith walk.

I'm not saying that my life has been any harder than anyone else's; we all have our own trials & our own burdens. As Olivia Newton-John sang in Grease: Guess mine is not the first heart broken; my eyes are not the first to cry.... When I look back & see all I've endured & when I remember nearly every hurt "the Church" has caused me, I see now how it's all gone to making me more sure of my faith, and more steely in my resolve that I am a child of God, albeit an imperfect, still-hurting child of God. I have had what has felt like many baptisms of fire since my baptism in the water all those years ago, and I know that it is those fires through which God has brought me that allows me to understand that faith is never easy, and true faith can never be taken away; if it is lost, it has been given away.

In so many ways, I have earned my deep faith, but I know that faith is not like a trophy: you don't find it & then place it up on a shelf. Faith is something that becomes a living part of your being & it is something to which you must tend every day, and it is that thing inside the truest part of you that motivates you to keep on going even when you don't feel like you can.

Had the events of my life gone at all differently, and had my walk been a little less rocky, and had I collected any fewer scars on my heart, who knows where I'd be right now? There's no telling, and really, no sense in dwelling on what might have been.

But I can tell you that the freedom I feel today comes from that faith that I just couldn't seem to shake, forged by fire, and earned through a river of tears & a world of pain. Though they toiled mightily to do so, not even the most self-righteous Christian soldiers, Bibles clutched in their hands & raised to the Heavens as the preferred weapons of choice, hearts & eyes filled with the lust of spiritual war-without-end could take my faith or my God from me.

I am not naive in this: they stand constantly at the ready to fight on & on & on, and I know they will always try, but I also know that they will always fail.

Girl Power!

Females just don't tickle my fancy (romantically-speaking).

Coming from a gay man, that may not sound all that surprising, I know.

Truth is, though, that I really do love women. I always tell my friends that I actually love women in every way but one. I'm sure if you think about it, you'll get my meaning! ;-)

Anyway, I saw a commercial today for Dove (you know, the company that makes soap, etc.), but it wasn't trying to sell any specific kind of soap or any new product. It was explaining about Dove's commitment to helping ensure that today's girls become tomorrow's strong, independent women by trying to help re-define beauty, and helping girls understand how unique & how powerful they can be.

Though "living" in the closet was a horrible, devastating experience that I would never wish on ANYONE, I personally never knew a time in my life (even during those darkest of days) when I wondered if I might actually be heterosexual. I have always been attracted to the male of the species, and I never had fake dates with females to try to throw people off my track. I like to think that, somewhere in the back of my mind, I not only didn't want to make some kind of show for "the world", I also didn't want to lead on a girl who might have thought I was interested in her. It was bad enough involving myself in my lie of a life, much less dragging someone else into it.

So, while it's true that I have never had and could never have romantic feelings for women, I have always admired them, and found them (at least the ones that have crossed my life's path) to be strong people (not necessarily physically, but emotionally & spiritually) and fiercely loyal friends. I can genuinely tell you without hesitation and without a single doubt that my life is so much fuller & happier today because of the women in my life who have stood by me and who have reached out to help lift me up every time I've fallen. I can't help but respect, admire, and even love females...in the most honorable sense of all those words.

Watching the Dove commercial today, I was reminded that strong, confident women start out as young, impressionable girls, and that all of us (gay, straight, bi, asexual, pansexual...however you identify yourself) owe it to these girls to do our parts to make sure they know that they are just as valued, just as important & just as capable as boys. No doubt there are differences between boys & girls, that's just how life is, but I personally don't want to do to anyone else what I did to myself & begin a life concentrating on all the things you can't do or can't be. Girls AND boys need to know that they only limitations to their success in life is how big they can dream & how hard they're willing to work for what they want.

Getting back to my main point for this post, Dove explains on its website that:

The Dove Self-Esteem Fund was developed to help free the next generation from self-limiting beauty stereotypes. Committed to reaching 5 million young women by the end of 2010, we invite you to play a role in supporting and promoting a wider definition of beauty.

Until Dec. 15, 2009, if you buy any Dove product, you can visit Dove's website, enter the UPC from the package, and Dove will donate $1 to your choice of either the Girl Scouts, the Boys & Girls Clubs of America, or Girls Inc., up to a maximum of half a million dollars! Dove does ask your name & address & they are limiting the donation to 1 per household, but it's a great way to support some great causes, and help start creating strong, powerful women who know their own value.

As the great Pink song goes, Respect is just a minimum, come on girl, and get you some...

A Change For The Better

Sorry for the blurry chart (not sure how that happened) but if you click on the chart, you will get see it much clearer. Got some of blood test results a couple of days ago & was impressed by my Total Cholesterol, Triglycerides, HDL and my HbA1C (which was lower last time, but which is till under the ADA's recommendations).

On advice of my doctor, I've been taking Trilipix and Crestor, and--together with more exercise & watching what I eat (most of the time) it seems I have made some headway in living healthier. I was so proud of these numbers, I had to post them.

Just like me, isn't it?

Not Only Does She Know Why The Caged Bird Sings...

No commentary needed at all for this piece of wisdom from the magnificent Maya Angelou:

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

The End of The Beginning?

Nate Silver, the guru-in-chief at my favorite political prognostication website, 538.com has posted an article regarding the slowly-but-surely withering impact that equal marriage rights (a.k.a. "gay marriage") is having on the so-called "Values Voters".

At the most recent "Value Voters' Summit" held at the nation's capital, former Arkansas governor, Mike Huckabee, beat out Mitt & Sarah & Newt & (to quote the Gilligan's Island song) "the rest" in a straw poll. (As an aside, not that they'd want me there, but had I been in attendance, I would have SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO voted for Sarah Palin!! I really, really, really want her to be the GOP presidential candidate in 2012!! ;-) If for nothing else, I am a HUGE Tina Fey fan, and I cannot get enough of her Sarah imitation. They so look like they were separated at birth!! (No offense to Tina!)

Anyway, Nate points out in his article that when these "values voters" were asked about what social issues matter most to them, "gay marriage" (a.k.a. equal marriage rights) fell from its previous spot in 1st place all the way down to #3, beaten out by abortion & "Religious liberty".

Nate also notes that it's not that "values voters" have given up the ghost where the "gay marriage" fight is concerned, but it just doesn't cause the fire in as many bellies as it used to. I suppose the GOP used the issue so often through the years & really delivered nothing substantive since DOMA during Clinton's term, that they may have just slowly begun moving on.

Also, whatever disagreements I may have with the "values voters", I know that they can read polls as well as anyone else. With more & more people in general learning more & more about equal marriage rights & with the population as a whole just being more comfortable with those of us in the sexual minority, and the obvious fact that the up-and-coming younger generation of Americans completely unchained from the fears & lies of the past, it seems to me that even these "values voters" are slowly coming to see the light. I think they know that, for the most part, they've gotten about as much political & legal mileage out of this clunker as they're gonna get.

Please don't get me (or Nate's article) wrong: The battle for GLBTQI equality is not over by a long shot & there is still some fight left in a good portion of these "values voters", but it seems that some on the right feel like they've got "bigger fish to fry" as they say!

I think that the words spoken by Winston Churchill nearly 7 decades ago may best describe this situation: Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.

One can only hope...and pray!

Let Nothing Hold You Back...Not Even Yourself

Found this quote today by the writer Denis Waitley, and it really spoke to me, so I share it with you:

"It's not what you are that holds you back, it's what you think you're not."